The lowest of the low, the worst of the worst, and the saddest of the sad. These people revealed their least proud fap moments.
Some dude finished while mowing the lawn… That isn’t sad, that’s impressive.
These people shared their moments on Reddit for all of us to enjoy.
1. When I was on deployment in the Navy I had to stand a one hour lookout watch on the very tail end of the ship looking at the water incase someone fell overboard. Due to watchbill rotations you stand this watch at all different times of day. On the really late/really early in the morning watches, I would fap on watch.
I have nutted in the Atlantic Ocean, Mediterranean Sea, Red Sea, Persian Gulf and Indian Ocean.
2. This happened some ten years ago. It was winter and I had just discovered fapping and needless to say I instantly became a great fap fan. So I was walking down a street at night bordered by houses and I got this idea of fapping while walking. It was winter so I was wearing a jacket. I snuck my right hand in leaving the jacket sleeve empty. At first I was really conscious, making sure nobody noticed. But as I began to advance to the crescendo my hand movement became more and more less subtle and almost stopped walking by the time I finished. I took out my hand put it back in the jacket and began to walk and that’s when I noticed a woman in a balcony had been watching me. She shook her head and went back in. I quietly walked away.
3. I once fapped to a (not hot at all) news anchor and I remember thinking: “If I can fap to this I can fap to anything” like that was something to be proud of.
4. I fapped to a fucking rainstorm. Lights went down and I could only see lightnings in the horizon
5. I work in a hospital and had to do a sort of self defense course. Being one of the only sizeable people in the room, they asked if I would play the attacker role. I got to roleplay choking like 20 cute nurses and jerked one out to it later that shift.
6. Not me, my brother. When he was around 10 15, before porn was over the internet, he had lots of porn magazines. One day he felt like having the fap of his life, so he laid out all his magazines on the floor and he fapped furiously while walking on top of the magazines and looking at them. That’s when grandma opened the door… I really cannot begin to imagine what occurred in her head after that image.
7. Against the handle of a vibrating lawn mower, while I was actively mowing the lawn. I was about 13 and came in my pants. Quite messy.
8. I tore a ligament in my dominant wrist but I don’t have enough experience to be using my other hand to masturbate so… pushed my recovery date back two weeks. Was worth it.
9. These are nothing. I’m old (57). So back in the 70s there was no easy access to porn. So you’ll probably cringe when you see where this is going….. trust me, I’m full of shame and guilt still as I write this 40 years later….
My dad had a safe in his bedroom. I shoulder surfed him one day and proudly rattled off what the combo was. He freaked out like I never saw him freak before. Held me down and made me swear I had never been in that safe before. Well, I hadn’t so I didn’t lie and told him I didn’t.
Well, of course the 14 year old me was curious and it drove me nuts wondering what was in there. So months and months of torturing myself I finally got up the nerve and I opened the safe and looked. Tucked in behind all of his coin collections was a small photo album filled with polaroid photos of my Mom in the 50s, right after they got married, before she had me — naked.
My God was she fucking hot. And me having never seen a naked chick before, my dick went into full on nuclear meltdown mode.
So I jacked it to her — again, and again, and again. And I knew it was wrong. Very wrong. And whenever I saw my mother I felt this horrible guilt, let alone the horror of being aroused by your own mother.
Finally the neighbor next door was kind enough to throw away his collection of Playboys (or his wife did) and I found them, so I was able to stop going into that safe, thankfully. But to this day I still feel a horrible guilt and feel fucked up about it.
10. When I was like 12, I got caught by my dad on a camping trip. We were sharing a tent.
That’s the worst one. When I was a tween I was addicted to whacking it. I’d be constantly on the look out for an opportunity to sneak one off. 12 was a weird time.
Now I look back on that and I find it to be really humorous but for years it hung on my shoulders as my most cringe worthy experience.
11. I’ve fapped to the sims “woohooing” I was young and didn’t have much material…
12. I just got out of a 4 year relationship and was having sex with a new girl for the first time since the breakup (it was 2-3 weeks afterwards).
The sex was great and The chick looked better than my ex, but I just couldn’t bust a nut.
So I pretend to cum, get dressed and go home….
On my ride home I began to fap while driving to memories of my ex and I having sex.
13. My ex was hot, her mom was hotter, and wore skimpier swimsuits. Girlfriend caught me scoping her mom’s thong clad backside while inefectually hiding a boner. Argument ensued, smoothed things over, then went to bathroom to knock one out. Teenage me was ashamed, 40 year old me gets it.
14. I was 11, first fap ever. Thought farting would be a turn on. I ended up shitting myself and walking with a poeey ass to the bathroom and didn’t jack off for 2 years after that.
15. skipped school fapped in a graveyard, fapped behind the cash register at my old job when it was quiet, fapped off a bridge on new years eve, fapped in the middle of a vineyard. pretty much fapped everywhere